


Bubble Tea

by poselikeateam



Series: Higher Vampire Jaskier AUs [18]
Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Author also has ADHD, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Fangs, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Says "Hmm", Higher Vampire Jaskier | Dandelion, Immortal Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion Being Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion Has ADHD, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, Married Couple, Married Life, Non-Human Jaskier | Dandelion, Old Married Couple, POV Jaskier | Dandelion, Retirement, Romantic Fluff, Soft Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Soft Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Vampire Jaskier | Dandelion, which is why it turned out Like This
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26197642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poselikeateam/pseuds/poselikeateam
Summary: Geralt and Jaskier have been married for more than seven hundred years. At this point, Jaskier is pretty damn sure he knows exactly what new experiences his husband will and won't enjoy.Or: the one where Geralt and Jaskier live happily ever after into the modern world, and Geralt tries bubble tea for the first time.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Series: Higher Vampire Jaskier AUs [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1754371
Comments: 32
Kudos: 534





	Bubble Tea

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ButchTheDoggo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButchTheDoggo/gifts).



> This is the _secret fic_ I've been teasing in the Geraskier Discord server. @ButchTheDoggo suggested it ages ago and I've finally gotten it done

Jaskier does not like to be considered old. He doesn’t _look_ old, and he certainly doesn’t _act_ old. If Jaskier acted his age, he would simply be dust. 

Ciri often says that he and Geralt are like an old married couple. She has been saying that for centuries, so at this point, it’s certainly not untrue, though once upon a time it may have been. His relationship with Geralt has had its ups and downs, of course, but it’s the longest one he’s ever had. Honestly, it might be the longest _anyone’s_ ever had. They’ve been together for nearly seven and a half centuries, after all.

Neither of them looks it. Geralt had stopped aging long ago, probably due to Jaskier’s influence, and Jaskier had stopped aging long before the witcher was born. Though he’s always been the type to get bored of things easily, he’s never gotten bored of Geralt’s company. Every new day is just as beautiful as the last. 

Of course, they fight. While it’s true that opposites attract, they also don’t always see eye to eye. Besides, if they didn’t fight sometimes, life would be so terribly boring. 

And honestly, they’ve pretty much perfected the art of make-up sex at this point.

Watching time flow must be terrible for humans, because they grow old, the world passes them by. The same cannot be said of higher vampires. Well, it can, he supposes, but not him. See, the thing is, he’s spent as much of his time as possible in society, with humans. Every so often he’d “die” in a “tragic accident” and come back as his own illegitimate son, or nephew, or what-have-you. After meeting Geralt, of course, he’d stopped having to pretend. After all, when he started to spend all of his time with witchers and mages, people just began to assume that his longevity was due to some lingering magic of theirs. 

Of course, it makes things easy now that they have all of this technology, making reinventing oneself far more difficult. Back in the day, he simply had to keep moving from place to place, claiming to be one of his own relatives once enough time had passed. Over the years he’s spent so much time traveling that there’s not many people who can call his bluff. After all, if he goes through a town once every few years, no one will remember exactly what he looked like the last time around. One of his favourite things about humans, because it makes his life so much easier, is how quick they are to create mundane explanations for everything. A human will question their own memory a hundred times over before considering that Jaskier might not be one of them. 

Recently, those wonderful creatures have developed this thing they call _movies_. Well, recently by his standards; most of them weren’t alive when the things were created. They are such wonderful things though, movies. First, the humans had created a device that captured still images, creating little hyper-realistic, immediate sort of paintings that didn’t use paint at all. Then, that technology had been developed until not only could they instantly take these pictures, but they could take moving ones as well. They’d added sound and colour and even found a way to make them three-dimensional and add these special effects, like explosions that weren’t real. 

Jaskier admires movies, but there’s a reason for bringing them up now. Recently (this time he means by _human_ standards, just this year) one had come out about a man who’d fallen into a pickle vat and reappeared a century later, meeting his own great-grandson, played by the same actor. The man out of time had such difficulties acclimating to the modern world because he’d been suddenly thrust into it with no frame of reference.

For Jaskier and Geralt, that had not been the case. 

They have been able to watch everything change, acclimating to it rather easily. If he suddenly woke up in a world with cars and television and cell phones and espresso machines, he’s sure he’d die of apoplexy, even though his kind is physically incapable of that sort of thing. 

Honestly, he quite likes the way the world is now. There are new witcher schools that came about a few centuries ago, and that means that new witchers are being trained. New witchers means that Geralt, his dearest and darlingest husband, was able to actually _retire_ , the way he’d long ago insisted witchers never do. Coin stopped being an issue a while ago, and not just because it had eventually been replaced with paper money, which had _further_ been replaced with plastic cards that held a monetary balance, like a bank account in your pocket.

The point is, though, that after a while, they stopped having to worry about money. He’s still lectured at the Academy on and off over the years, and Geralt will occasionally take a contract to stave off boredom, and they’ve owned — and lived in — a lovely vineyard in Toussaint for the past few centuries. They spend most of their time just relaxing, enjoying one another. Sometimes one or both of them will get a little restless and they’ll hit the road again, or take on a simple contract. Geralt, every so often, will accompany Ciri on a hunt when she asks for his help. Far be it from Jaskier to question the way the man bonds with his daughter.

One thing that has never changed about their dynamic is that Jaskier wants to stay on top of every trend, every new thing, and Geralt is content with ignoring most of it. Jaskier is a man of culture, after all, and one of the most wonderful things about the technological boom that’s been eating up the last two centuries or so is that there’s always something new to experience. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it’s only ever thrilled the vampire. 

Usually, Jaskier will experience new things on his own and tell Geralt about them either during or after, depending on whether the witcher is with him in the moment. Clothes, food, festivals, art exhibits, he’s done it all. Occasionally, though, something will delight him so much that he simply _has_ to share that experience with his husband. 

Geralt, thankfully, has long since stopped trying to get out of it. After all, Jaskier only ever tries to get him to do things that he thinks the witcher will enjoy — well, anymore. It hasn’t always been the case, he’ll admit, and because of that it had taken _ages_ for the witcher to trust the words _you just have to try this_ when they come from his husband’s mouth. 

Seriously, though, they have been married for nearly _eight hundred years_. If Jaskier didn’t know what his husband likes by now, he’d be the worst, most inattentive husband _ever_. And he’s cuckolded enough terrible and inattentive husbands to know the hallmarks of one, thank you very much.

Ah, but his days of breaking up marriages are long behind him because, again, he and Geralt are married, and have been for quite some time, which is why the witcher really needs to trust him when he says that he’s going to enjoy something.

To be fair, Geralt doesn’t exactly fight it, but he does make it very clear that he doesn’t entirely trust Jaskier’s judgment. And, to be even more fair, Jaskier is not perfect, though he can see why someone might get that impression. He makes mistakes. The thing is, though, his intentions are always pure. 

This whole mess comes from the fact that Jaskier has finally, _finally_ convinced his beloved witcher to try bubble tea.

They’re at this cute little restaurant that Jaskier absolutely _loves_ to go to when he needs to clear his head or have a quiet place to work or just wants to get out of the house. He loves Geralt dearly but they can’t spend _all_ their time together. 

At any rate, Jaskier loves the place. Usually he gets the black milk tea with lavender boba, but he isn’t going to try to force his own tastes on Geralt. The witcher has a _very_ different palate from his. 

Geralt ends up choosing the black tea with peach boba and no milk. The way he stares at the machine like he doesn’t trust whatever’s about to come out of it has Jaskier wanting to laugh, but so does the nervousness over the witcher’s reaction. He’s vibrating with nervous energy, and he’s sure that Geralt is fully aware and choosing to ignore it. 

When they both have their drinks, they sit at the small, round table in the corner. Another thing that hasn’t changed a bit over the centuries is Geralt’s preference for isolated tables in dark corners, though once electricity came along, corners started becoming a lot less dark in general. Still, they make do, and Geralt eyes the cup and straw in his hand dubiously. 

“I’m almost afraid to ask what you’re thinking,” Jaskier says, nudging the witcher’s shin with his foot. 

“Straw’s sharp,” says Geralt. 

He’s pretty sure his witcher is trying to assess how useful (or dangerous, depending on whose hand it’s in) a straw like this would be if a fight broke out, but he feigns ignorance anyway. “Yes, you use it to pierce the top, like this,” he says, stabbing his straw into the plastic covering. 

Geralt purses his lips and says nothing. After a moment of watching Jaskier drink his own bubble tea, the witcher stabs his like he’s trying to swiftly kill a small beast. He takes a long, hard draw of tea, and immediately chokes. 

“Geralt!” Jaskier admonishes, thumping him on the back. “You’re not supposed to suck it down like one of your awful potions!”

“What the fuck, Jaskier?” says the witcher. Clearly he wasn’t expecting balls of tapioca to shoot into his throat. To be fair, the bard probably should have warned him. 

“You’re supposed to drink it slowly,” he says (and maybe he’s a bit late with his explanations, but Geralt’s a big boy, he’ll get over it). “It’s called ‘bubble tea’ because of those flavoured orbs inside of it.”

If he wasn't very used to it by now, the glare that Geralt levels him with could be considered scary. Of course, the man was never really scary to him to begin with — really, the man's got a heart of gold to match his eyes. Jaskier makes a point of ignoring the grumpy scowling, as he always has, and instead demonstrates the _proper_ way to drink bubble tea. 

When Geralt gets his first mouthful of those little tapioca balls, he grimaces and starts chewing them open-mouthed like a confused dog with peanut butter. It's absolutely adorable. Sure, some people see his big, sharp fangs and consider that frightening, but those people are woefully small-minded. After all, Jaskier has fangs too, sometimes. His are more for piercing than tearing, but they're both centuries-old, fanged predators. And besides, they're _married_. If Jaskier wants to think Geralt's beastly fangs are cute, he damn well can and he damn well shall, thank you very much.

"What the fuck is this chewy shit, anyway?" Geralt demands, even as he's still chewing on it.

"Those are the bubbles, dear," Jaskier answers mildly.

"When you said bubbles, I didn't expect chewy balls."

Jaskier flicks his shoulder. "You'd better not get any ideas."

"I didn't say anything."

"You don't need to, dearest," says the bard. "I daresay I can hear the terrible puns you're about to spit out before you start moving your mouth, at this point."

Geralt hums his grumbly little _hmm_ , and gives another very suspicious glare to the beverage in front of him, before he slowly leans in and takes another sip. Jaskier tries very hard to hide his grin. He's going to call this a success.


End file.
